Good Enough is Good Enough from Amy
April 2025
The end of March marks my son’s third birthday. We will celebrate by having family and friends congregate in our favorite neighborhood park. We won’t have elaborate decorations, professional entertainment, handcrafted mailed invitations, or a Pinterest board-worthy theme. Despite everything that goes into planning and executing a simple toddler birthday party my son will have a vague memory of the experience, and nobody will be putting much thought into whether his birthday party is “magical” (i.e. Instagrammable).
So why is there still that little voice that says I’m not “enough” as a mom?
In the initial stages of motherhood, this voice was much stronger. My son was (and remains) a horrible sleeper, had chronic ear infections, and he could be described as a “difficult” baby. In my sleep-deprived postpartum haze, it felt impossible not to compare myself and my child to others. The conflicting advice I heard from family, friends, strangers, and Instagram influencers/mommy bloggers (all of whom seemed to have babies that slept through the night by 3 months old) was overwhelming and contributed to my doubts about being a good mom. Maybe I was a failure as a mom. My self-worth as a mother was based on everyone else’s parenting and decisions, rather than my own intuition and internal strength.
Eventually, I was able to get out of this rough period. I started truly taking care of myself – and I’m not talking about bubble baths and face masks that the wellness industry markets as “self-care.” I’m talking about actual self-care – sitting with these feelings of discomfort and failure, addressing these parts of myself in therapy, spending less time on social media, returning to regular exercise, socializing with and without my kid, and creating time for myself outside of being a wife, mother, and therapist.
I’ve long told clients and friends that as long as you love and support your child, there is no right or wrong way to be a parent – and I’m finally accepting this statement for myself. My 3-year-old is chatting up a storm and having full-fledged conversations. He’s smart, funny, compassionate, curious, affectionate, and kind. He’s sometimes skips naps and doesn’t always make it to a 7 AM wake up. He eats sugar and we occasionally go over the pediatrician-recommended amount of screen time. He has tantrums. Sometimes I get overstimulated and struggle with my own emotion regulation. I cannot be the best version of myself as a parent 100% of the time.
But you know what? He is doing just fine. And I don’t need an Instagram-worthy birthday party to prove that I am a “good enough” mom. Because he is loved, supported, and cared for – and that is what truly matters most.