Seeking beauty, kindness and generosity from Nan
November 2025
I was recently surprised when I had to go to City Hall in Philadelphia (a huge, cavernous building with old school smell and terrible signage) on a long-avoided errand. Once in the building, I was directed to the Justice of the Peace office. Yes, you know the one, where people get married. The bureaucrat I sought was in the same suite, so I had to pass through a swath of couples all sitting patiently, waiting their turn. In surveying this very diverse group, I couldn’t help noticing a young couple dressed adorably in wedding finery. They were in
the hall speaking animatedly with their small entourage in an unknown language (which I later learned was Farsi), smiling and laughing.
I issued my congratulations and in short order they told me the whole story. They had driven to Philly from Penn State, thinking they could get married on the spot, only to discover that they could procure
their wedding license but had to endure a waiting period of 48 hours before actually tying the knot. So, what surprised me? They were in great spirits! This foursome, after hearing the bad news, seemed to move seamlessly from disappointment into logistical planning, and celebration, yes CELEBRATION--where would they go for dinner in the big city, and how might they arrange for a second trip in a few days’ time?
When I’m out in public, I’m so often witness to situations where people are ANGRY about the driver in front of them that is too slow, OFFENDED by the co-worker that made a radically left or right-winged comment, and people ENTITLED rudely insisting on getting their way. So, when this thwarted foursome was told by some cranky city employee that NO, they couldn’t get married today, and left HAPPY… I was blown away.
For the whole day, I felt warm all over, savoring this experience. I was so inspired by these young, hopeful and undaunted humans--Iranian nationals, and new US citizens, I might add. It did wonders for my spirit and for my ongoing effort to actively seek evidence of beauty, human kindness, generosity and LOVE in my midst. Not to deny what’s nasty and ugly, or what truly enrages me, but to fight hard to maintain my optimism, laughter and love. I try to appreciate all of what is fantastically interesting in what author and podcaster Glennan Doyle calls this BRUT-I-FUL world. Scanning and staying present to the positive is not an easy task for me, and probably not for you either. But it’s how I want to live. Join me?